As I write this, I am still getting myself into trouble, over the way I communicate online. Last Sunday, as I spoke with Joshua, last night, as was pointed out by The Scarlett Tiger, I need to watch my use of emoticons and the way I phrase thoughts, and again this morning by The Angel of Cuddles, who said that I ought to watch the intonations, emoticons, phrasing and context of what I say and read.
It’s not that I disagree with what they have to say, it does make me stop and think about the assumptions that I bring to the communication table, and the assumptions that they bring to the communication table. Whether we agree or not, one person may have an issue with how I communicate using text, while someone else won’t. That is unavoidable. But I do listen to Joshua, My Mountain Man and The Scarlett Tiger, for example, because we have an ongoing dialogue, so there is trust there.
Sure, the responsibility for clear communication lies with me, as much as it does with other people. As Joshua also pointed out to me last Sunday, English is a second language for some people. However, even when English is the primary language, problems still arise. That’s why we use emoticons in cyberspace, sure, but as I said, it is assumed that everybody knows what each emoticon stands for, well I don’t.
I don’t use emoticons much, and sure they are handy, but try finding an appropriate one, or learning them all. That’s why I end up using question marks and exclamations marks a lot. Those who use them prolifically, assume, and I do mean assume, that everybody else understands them as well as they do. Worse though, are the intonations of what I say online. Not paying attention to how I phrase my thoughts, cause some people to take offense or misconstrue what I say.
Communicating via text online can become quite a chore as you have to make decisions about whether to type full English sentences, use your full fluency, or simplify or dumb down the language, abbreviate, go with typos, use emoticons that one person knows and not the other, adjust tone, intention and intonations on the fly, as well as accommodating the each individual person I am talking to. Even face to face communications has its pitfalls, but I am not going to wade into these shark infested waters.
One of the biggest flaws in my online communication, is the assumption that my friends and people I know will understand what I am saying, by virtue of the fact that they know me or have a close relationship with me. Yeah, I know, sometimes they do get it and sometimes they don’t. However, as My Mountain Man pointed out, you can’t see the face, or the body language, which will clarify what I am trying to express.
Meanwhile, as we continue to take each other to task over breakdown in communication, I keep hearing the unmistakable sounds of the words, pot, kettle and black, but that is quite another story that I do not want to go into. I just hate the finger being pointed at me, knowing damn well it should be pointing the other way too.
