Miracularity At The Altar Of The Great God Audio
Thank the Lord! Heaven be Praised! GOD is back! Hull-Lee-Loo-Lah! Back with a much needed antidote to the miracularity of the worshippers of the false god audio. [Noticed how my GOD is capitalised, and the other, little god, is uncapitalised]. And yes, my heart did skip a beat when the dear little thing brought her PR tour to Australia. To Sydney. My HOMETOWN. Lord! Where were you in my hour of need?
Of all the technologies developed to enable deafies to hear, none have drawn the fandom and inane mutterings of religious fundamentalism, than the implant. Words like miraculous abound. Fundraisers are held [as if the profits that Cochlear makes, and the money they charge for the bloody things aren’t enough]. I’m trying to work out, what is it about the implant that inspires such adulation. If the Beatles invented the implant, we can safely say that the implantees would literally wet themselves.
I mean, really? Yeah. OK. I can understand why they gush - I’ve had my own ambivalent feelings towards my deafness, very nearly seduced by their promise of audio ecstasy. All of which is complicated by the arseholery of hearing people, and the lemmings who hang on to their every spittle and drool, hoping to glimpse nirvana.
All the technologies that deafies avail themselves of, are useful in their own way. Such a shearing aids. I get a lot out of them. But not once in my life, have I ever been inspired to visit the place that created them. Never once did I want to visit the factories that manufactured them. Nor did I want to hold,a fun run to raise money for hearing aid centres.
Quite frankly, there is nothing miraculous about speaking or hearing. They are features of being human, just as the absence of these are features of being human. Some of us have big dicks and some of us have little dicks. So, what’s to boast about? The measuring tape being too short?
If you want to talk about miraculous, how about the miracle of language being present in hand movements? How about the miracle of information being revealed in many ways, of which audio is just one means? How about the miracle of information being revealed when one sense is taken away?
We have five sense you know. Count them: hear, see, touch, feel, and taste.
DEFINITION:
Miracularity, a combination of two words: miraculous and hilarious. When someone expresses the idea that sound [or something] is miraculous, and that it is a gift beyond compere, and that to be without sound [or something] is a sad existence, then the idea is so preposterous, that it is hilarious. Hence miracularity!
