i.Mephisto

Thank the Lord! Heaven be Praised! GOD is back! Hull-Lee-Loo-Lah! Back with a much needed antidote to the miracularity of the worshippers of the false god audio. [Noticed how my GOD is capitalised, and the other, little god, is uncapitalised]. And yes, my heart did skip a beat when the dear little thing brought her PR tour to Australia. To Sydney. My HOMETOWN. Lord! Where were you in my hour of need?

Of all the technologies developed to enable deafies to hear, none have drawn the fandom and inane mutterings of religious fundamentalism, than the implant. Words like miraculous abound. Fundraisers are held [as if the profits that Cochlear makes, and the money they charge for the bloody things aren’t enough]. I’m trying to work out, what is it about the implant that inspires such adulation. If the Beatles invented the implant, we can safely say that the implantees would literally wet themselves.

I mean, really? Yeah. OK. I can understand why they gush - I’ve had my own ambivalent feelings towards my deafness, very nearly seduced by their promise of audio ecstasy. All of which is complicated by the arseholery of hearing people, and the lemmings who hang on to their every spittle and drool, hoping to glimpse nirvana.

All the technologies that deafies avail themselves of, are useful in their own way. Such a shearing aids. I get a lot out of them. But not once in my life, have I ever been inspired to visit the place that created them. Never once did I want to visit the factories that manufactured them. Nor did I want to hold,a fun run to raise money for hearing aid centres.

Quite frankly, there is nothing miraculous about speaking or hearing. They are features of being human, just as the absence of these are features of being human. Some of us have big dicks and some of us have little dicks. So, what’s to boast about? The measuring tape being too short?

If you want to talk about miraculous, how about the miracle of language being present in hand movements? How about the miracle of information being revealed in many ways, of which audio is just one means? How about the miracle of information being revealed when one sense is taken away?

We have five sense you know. Count them: hear, see, touch, feel, and taste.

DEFINITION:

Miracularity, a combination of two words: miraculous and hilarious. When someone expresses the idea that sound [or something] is miraculous, and that it is a gift beyond compere, and that to be without sound [or something] is a sad existence, then the idea is so preposterous, that it is hilarious. Hence miracularity!

Urban Myths, Wry Observations

I was flipping through a book, Zen Guitar, that I had recommended to GOD, as part of her journey towards enlightenment, when I rediscovered the following quote:

Writer to Frank Zappa: Have there been parts of your life that you’ve neglected because you’ve been absorbed in your music?

Zappa: Well what am I missing? Do I regret not going horse-back riding, or learning how to water ski? Well, no. I don’t want to climb mountains, I don’t want to do bungie-jumping, I haven’t missed any of these things. If you’re absorbed by something, what’s to miss?

We could be facetious and ask what has this quote about music to do with being deaf?

Quite a lot actually!

The point of the quote is that the writer, alright, the question, is making an assumption that Frank Zappa must be missing out on something in his life, because he devoted much of his attention to music.

Think about how often us Deafies are subjected to the notion that we are somehow missing out on something because weither we can’t hear, or we have limited hearing, or that we don’t even want to hear. Yes, some of us don’t want to hear, and I’m sure there are hearing people who find that idea preposterous.

The assumption posed by the writer/ the question is a projection of someone else’s expectations as to how life should be lived. Of what is considered to be a full life.

There are many deafies, of the oral persuasion, who labour under the illusion, much to our shared mirth and merriment, that to be hear and to integrate with the hearing world, is to have a more fulfilling life. A well rounded life. You know all the attributes: having fun. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Meanwhile, us Deafies are going about the business of life. Living it! On our own terms! what’s to miss?

Urban Myths, Wry Observations

I wondered what all the furore about Theresa Bulger was, and I wondered what Ben Vess what getting all upset about. I admit, I didn’t pay much attention to the article Lifetsyles [PDF], until I happened to read Ben’s impassioned defense, not quite knowing why Deaf people are treating Theresa with contempt.

The first few words [and that black and white soft focus picture] in the article Lifetsyles [PDF], told me all I that I needed to know:

Early this spring, the reigning Miss Deaf Texas, who was profoundly deaf, was text messaging as she walked along railroad tracks near her home. She never heard the train that sent her to her death and caused such a deep loss to family and friends. Theresa Bulger is one person, who, if she can, will do everything in her power to see that tragedies like that are avoided, simply by facilitating the teaching of profoundly deaf children to hear and speak via the use of today’s latest technological innovations, especially cochlear implants and FM receivers.

The article recalls that song by ABBA, Mama Mia: “Here we go again!”

My first reading of Ben’s post Theresa Bugler Only Wanted to Help, imparts a strong sense of embarassment to the comments and criticisms, coming from Ben, on behalf of Theresa Bulger for the bollicking she received in repsonse to DEAF GIRL KILLED BY TRAIN IN TEXAS! and the article about her and her work, Lifetsyles [PDF].

To his credit, Ben does try to insert some semblance of balance, but There is more objectivity in the comments people have made on his post, Theresa Bugler Only Wanted to Help and DEAF GIRL KILLED BY TRAIN IN TEXAS!

I can’t get pass his sense of embarassment. He tries to walk the middle ground [like all diplomats try to do, and in the rpocess assage no one], but really, any semblance of objectvity is lost, amongst what appears to be some serious arse licking:

“ I believe in order to accomplish more for our Deaf children, we must first say: Thank you for you heart-felt efforts to help.”

Which is laudable I suppose. Until he ruins it with the following riptose:

“Whatever happened to suggesting to Theresa if she was aware of the statistics of hearing people with these accidents? What happened to asking her if we could work together and find the true cause of most of these accidents?”

I mean really Ben? Are hearing people really, THAT stupid? THAT ignorant? Do hearing people really believe that being deaf is dangerous? Or THAT dangerous? Hell! I had a cousin who died on the tracks, killed by an oncoming train he did not see. And on his bucks night too. AND HE WAS HEARING. Do we, Deaf people, really need to waste precious time to work with hearing people to find the true cause of  accidents such as these that killed my cousin or Miss Deaf Texas?

Besides, Theresa is a CEO! Is she not? And if she is, what does being a CEO imply? Soft focus, black and white photos…………. Then again, here’s an idea, a bail out fund for the intellectually bereft?

So Theresa wants to help. Big ******* deal. All hearing want to help, but they more often than not, they **** things up for us. Widening, if not creating, the very divisions they freuqnetly bemoan. Especially parents of deaf children, who ply us with cute mumsy, whumsy homilies, and then run for dear life when somebody asks them a pertinent question. If anything, they pretend, to understand all the issues surrounding deafness, and only PAY LIPSERVICE to the notion of Deaf Culture and Community, but really, they want their kids to hear, speak and integrate. All the while, contributing vomit inducing pictures like this, thinking such a picture of a stupid dog or children, will magically bring the Deaf and deaf worlds together.

The only act these parents inspire me to do, is arrange an introduction of my axe to the faces of the spawn of their loins! This would make one hell of a movie I must say.

But Ben, Theresa is not being OPPRESSED by the comments and criticisms. Oppressed/ oppression has a specific meaning tied to the subjugation and ruination of a people by various means. Criticising is not oppressing!

And a merry christmas [bah humbug!]..  or should I say, merry, meaningless, capitalistic, materialistic, orgiastic day to all…………….

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