Archive for the ‘The Source’ Category

June 8th, 2008 By Tony Posted in Creativity, Inspiration, The Source, Writing

The Crossroads: A Yearning & A Portrayal

At the end of my previous post, The Crossroads, I mentioned that I am currently working on a story about a Deaf boy who wants to be a rock star. There is only one way he is going to become a rock star, and that is by becoming hearing. For those who must know, yes, it is about me. Whilst I have no intention of writing an autobiography, my story is biographical in that it reflects my “hopes, fears, dreams and desires”. Just so that you know, my life hasn’t been all that exciting, and neither have I made a Faustian Bargain [that I would ever tell you about].

The character whom I based on myself is Joshua. A Deaf boy who was born hearing, and became deafened at the age of 5. He has always had some useful hearing, which has stood him in good stead over the years when communicating with hearing people, getting an education, and by and large, having some fun. Like me, Joshua loves music. He has buried himself in the sounds, images, culture and history of popular music. He locks himself way in his room, turning up the volume and miming. With a broom for a microphone and a tennis racquet for a guitar.

In him, I have embodied the conflict of deaf and hearing. Joshua, a Deaf boy, living in a hearing world, and wanting to be a rock star. This causes an internal [emotional] split, which creates havoc with his sense of belonging and who he is. As Joshua matures, and comes to accept his Deafness, and reconciles these opposing forces, that shadow of doubt remains. A true reflection of my outlook today. The big question [for Joshua and I,] is whether this dichotomy will ever [or can ever] be truly resolved.

I have been wanting to write this story for a long time. I could not decide on a format, so I have set myself the Herculean task of doing four: a novel, a musical, a rock opera and a screen play; and I am hoping through the writing process, I will be able to settle on the format that will allow the story to come to life. Then again, I can see the potential of each format hosting a different interpretation of the same story, and it might just be more fun different viewpoints of the same story.

In the process, I aim to give lie to David Lodges’ assertion that:

However, deafness restricts and thins out the supply of new ideas and experience on which the novelist depends to create his fictions. Living under a deaf sentence

There is such a dearth of positive images and portrayals of Deaf people in the media, whenever someone creates a project with a Deaf character, creates a Deaf character, they encounter all sorts of problems. Least of all, it questions your loyalty to your community or your loyalty to yourself. So in a sense, my portrayal of a deaf boy who wants to become hearing, is itself something of a Faustian Bargain, with Mephistopheles sitting on my left shoulder, chattering away about movie deals, opening nights, CD and DVD releases, and blah, blah, blah.

Research [if you can call it that,] is ongoing, but the struggle is in the writing. The story unfolds quite vividly in my mind, but in the transference to the page [computer screen], it is encountering extreme resistance. In order to do the story justice, my responsibility as the writer, is to treat the theme with honesty, and not pander to popular stereotype, or communal expectations of what and who the deaf character is. How it translates to the stage or the screen, in terms of acting roles, is another issue, but the point remains. To do the story justice. And only by doing the story justice, will we see a break in stereotype, and more truthful portrayals of Deaf [and deaf] people.

Meanwhile, the writing process, is a form of therapy [for me], and many issues that have lain dormant or not dealt with, are inserting themselves in between my mind and the page [computer screen]. Also, too many philosophical discussions about life, love and death with my hearing mate in the mountains, accompanied by a few bottles of wine don’t help.

But, I have found the protagonists [Joshua's] voice, and appropriately enough, it will start on the night of his [that is, my] death!

Reading:

The Crossroads [The Devils Playground]
Dualism
Zen Guitar [The Book]
The Zen Guitar Dojo
The Blue Mountains [For When You Visit Australia]
Whose Story is It Anyway?
The Tree Of Knowledge
The Tree Of Life, The Fruit Of Knowledge, Of Good & Evil
The Idol-Maker: David Lodge – Deaf Sentence
Robert Johnson And The Crossroads Curse
Deal With The Devil
Mandala
Aureola/Mandorla
The Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow [Read Online]
The Road Less Travelled
The Road Not Taken
M. Scott Peck
Robert A. Johnson [Spirit Site]
Robert A. Johnson

June 8th, 2008 By Tony Posted in Creativity, Inspiration, The Source, music

The Crossroads

What would you be prepared to do, to satisfy a desire for knowledge, power, status or change in life circumstances? What would you be prepared to trade off to achieve this knowledge, power, status or change in life circumstances? Decision making is not always a simple task of “either, or”, but a series of trade-offs where neither option is perfect.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Such is the journey to The Crossroads, and such are the choices that we, Deaf and deaf people face constantly in our efforts to carve out a meaningful life. The sacrifices, and the trade-offs we make. Some of which are in our power, and some without our control, to ensure that the choices we make, are meaningful ones. This is the nature of the Faustian Bargain, where the choices Mephistopheles presents us with, are “either, or”.

Even though I’ve never read Faust, or any of the other Faustian legends, the theme is ever present in the lyrics and the sounds of the music I listen to. When singers and musicians harness the polar opposites of positive and negative, the propel the music towards meanings at odds with its surface presence. This can be evidenced in the blues, where lyrically, the mood is often one of despondency and despair, yet the music is upbeat, playful, joyful, and downright lusty, as to impart the message of survival, inspite of the circumstances.

Grandpa’s Song [Watch the video on Youtube], by Vika and Linda, is a secular song, with a spiritual bent.

Grandpa’s Song

You were standing there, years ago
Waiting so patiently, to take me home
And as you held out your hand, I’ll never forget
I walked right by you, this day I regret

I had fire in my heart and you knew it
I was like you, so much like you

As I marched along, five paces ahead
You had a smile for me, I still can’t forget
Still I wanted to walk, on my own
You were there to protect me, on my way home

Time has gone, and it’s taken you with it
I miss you so, this much I know

Now I look back, on all that I’ve done
I hope you’ve forgiven me, see I was so young
I have grown, I now walk alone
I feel you beside me, still guiding me home

I had fire in my heart, and you knew it
I was like you, I was so much like you

Time has gone, and taken you with it
I miss you so, this much I know
I miss you so, now that I know

It was written by Vika as an apology to her Grandfather for her
behaviour when she was younger and her shame of her cultural heritage.
A story I know, and identify with. Yet, it works brilliantly as a metaphor for
the relationship between human beings and their maker [God]. Or simply
a metaphor for human pride, borne out of ignorance, and pitted against
greater forces beyond their understanding [and control], and ultimate
concession [or submission to humility].

The killer lines in Grandpa’s Song, are neither lyrical or melodious, but the ebb and flow of Maori
Choir that swells up after the instrumentals break. This represents a
moment of epiphany, and the sound of the choir that ever so gently, tugs the singer [and listener] towards a state of humility [the greater good]. This never fails to raise
goose bumps, and a rush to the head, in me. There have been moments
when I was nearly given to tears.

The song itself is easy to translate into sign language, and would make for a great signed song. The point for me, though, is how to translate the sounds of the choir, illustrate that ebb and flow, and its gentleness, without whom the song would lose a lot of its intensity. [For me, anyway!]

There is one other song, by Vika and Linda, itself a killer tune, which also works on both the secular and spiritual levels. These Hands, which I will leave you to deduct its meaning, but suffice to say, I interpret it is a call to arms for Deaf Pride, is imbued with many of the elements that make Grandpa’s Song so powerful: pride, humility, knowledge, understanding and esteem.

These Hands

The breeze blows gentle
The trees all sway, as if to wave
I picked up my suitcase
To pack up my dreams and leave, and sail away
On an endless ocean
With a sinking heart, I was torn apart
When a voice came drifting, warm and rise
Something lifting me up to the sky
These hands that hold me, are good and strong
I’ll be on my feet before too long
My life’s not over, why should it be?
These hands that hold me
They told me to hold on
Along the journey, I’ll need hands to hold on
My mind still wanders
Along the long white beach, that washed my feet
And the silver water
Under the island moon, I can almost reach
This endless ocean
So cold and deep, and I’m trying to sleep
Then a voice comes drifting, warm and wise
Something lifting me up, to the sky

Actions are not without their consequences, a these two songs [and I'm sure you, my dear readers, can come up with examples of your own] illustrate. The pertinent lesson is that decisions we make, are not always clear cut. The
devil in the detail, being the shades of grey, the area of ambiguity
that exists between these polar forces.

In artistic terms though, these songs detail the tensions that exit between the polar forces of positive and negative [good and evil, yin and yang, black and white, being and non being, et al]. Which provides a rich mine of ideas for stories and images, with which you can enhance the story with ambiguity, irony, ecstasy, and enlightenment.

In a mainstream culture that worships the Faustian Bargain, the Crossroads, the Polar forces, continue to fascinate me, and are the source for the story that I am currently working on. A story about a Deaf boy who wants to become a rock and roll star. [As my friend Liam said to me, "It's about you!" - that is me.]

Reading:

Robert Johnson And The Crossroads Curse
Deal With The Devil
Mandala
Aureola/Mandorla
The Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow [Read Online]
The Road Less Travelled
The Road Not Taken
M. Scott Peck
Robert A. Johnson [Spirit Site]
Robert A. Johnson