i.Mephisto:i.Muse & i.Amuse!

At the end of my previous post, The Crossroads, I mentioned that I am currently working on a story about a Deaf boy who wants to be a rock star. There is only one way he is going to become a rock star, and that is by becoming hearing. For those who must know, yes, it is about me. Whilst I have no intention of writing an autobiography, my story is biographical in that it reflects my “hopes, fears, dreams and desires”. Just so that you know, my life hasn’t been all that exciting, and neither have I made a Faustian Bargain [that I would ever tell you about].

The character whom I based on myself is Joshua. A Deaf boy who was born hearing, and became deafened at the age of 5. He has always had some useful hearing, which has stood him in good stead over the years when communicating with hearing people, getting an education, and by and large, having some fun. Like me, Joshua loves music. He has buried himself in the sounds, images, culture and history of popular music. He locks himself way in his room, turning up the volume and miming. With a broom for a microphone and a tennis racquet for a guitar.

In him, I have embodied the conflict of deaf and hearing. Joshua, a Deaf boy, living in a hearing world, and wanting to be a rock star. This causes an internal [emotional] split, which creates havoc with his sense of belonging and who he is. As Joshua matures, and comes to accept his Deafness, and reconciles these opposing forces, that shadow of doubt remains. A true reflection of my outlook today. The big question [for Joshua and I,] is whether this dichotomy will ever [or can ever] be truly resolved.

I have been wanting to write this story for a long time. I could not decide on a format, so I have set myself the Herculean task of doing four: a novel, a musical, a rock opera and a screen play; and I am hoping through the writing process, I will be able to settle on the format that will allow the story to come to life. Then again, I can see the potential of each format hosting a different interpretation of the same story, and it might just be more fun different viewpoints of the same story.

In the process, I aim to give lie to David Lodges’ assertion that:

However, deafness restricts and thins out the supply of new ideas and experience on which the novelist depends to create his fictions. Living under a deaf sentence

There is such a dearth of positive images and portrayals of Deaf people in the media, whenever someone creates a project with a Deaf character, creates a Deaf character, they encounter all sorts of problems. Least of all, it questions your loyalty to your community or your loyalty to yourself. So in a sense, my portrayal of a deaf boy who wants to become hearing, is itself something of a Faustian Bargain, with Mephistopheles sitting on my left shoulder, chattering away about movie deals, opening nights, CD and DVD releases, and blah, blah, blah.

Research [if you can call it that,] is ongoing, but the struggle is in the writing. The story unfolds quite vividly in my mind, but in the transference to the page [computer screen], it is encountering extreme resistance. In order to do the story justice, my responsibility as the writer, is to treat the theme with honesty, and not pander to popular stereotype, or communal expectations of what and who the deaf character is. How it translates to the stage or the screen, in terms of acting roles, is another issue, but the point remains. To do the story justice. And only by doing the story justice, will we see a break in stereotype, and more truthful portrayals of Deaf [and deaf] people.

Meanwhile, the writing process, is a form of therapy [for me], and many issues that have lain dormant or not dealt with, are inserting themselves in between my mind and the page [computer screen]. Also, too many philosophical discussions about life, love and death with my hearing mate in the mountains, accompanied by a few bottles of wine don’t help.

But, I have found the protagonists [Joshua's] voice, and appropriately enough, it will start on the night of his [that is, my] death!

Reading:

The Crossroads [The Devils Playground]
Dualism
Zen Guitar [The Book]
The Zen Guitar Dojo
The Blue Mountains [For When You Visit Australia]
Whose Story is It Anyway?
The Tree Of Knowledge
The Tree Of Life, The Fruit Of Knowledge, Of Good & Evil
The Idol-Maker: David Lodge – Deaf Sentence
Robert Johnson And The Crossroads Curse
Deal With The Devil
Mandala
Aureola/Mandorla
The Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow [Read Online]
The Road Less Travelled
The Road Not Taken
M. Scott Peck
Robert A. Johnson [Spirit Site]
Robert A. Johnson